Conquer the west, Ashish Shrestha

Dear Ashish,

immense love..

Even before starting this letter, I have this thought that you are going to find this letter incredibly boring and funny (funny not because it is humorous but because I act childish each time). I know you would not even completely read this and perhaps, that's the exact reason that I won't be sharing it to you directly. This makes me realize that I am writing this letter not for you but for myself.

I do not know how to start but let's go with how it should be. Many congratulations that you are going to the US for your Masters program and I hope you return with a PhD too. I know you will do good as you have always been that hard working guy who would push to strive for betterment with every stride. I have no doubt that you will prove to yourself that how laborious you are. Funny how I used the term 'prove to yourself' whereas anyone who do not know you would go with 'prove to others'. During this long friendship, what I have known is that you have nothing to prove to others. Your war is always with yourself. Your rival is you. Your competition is with yourself. And you have demonstrated that very thing time and again by testing yourself (or say, by engaging yourself) in every field that fascinated you. But for the sake of formality, let me wish you good luck in the States and hope that whatever challenges come forward, will be accepted and demolished.

The time has come and anxiety comes knocking. It is expected at your doorstep but why is this unwanted visitor knocking at my door? You have always been that distant but close from heart friend; be it in High school days or the two years' period of your work days in Janakpur. Your absence was always felt. You are such a go-to-guy in every step  of one's life. The earphone's broken? Call Ashish. Need a trek itinerary? Call Ashish. Confused about which food is good for fishes? Call Ashish. Need a good laugh? Call Ashish. Do info about any thing? Call Ashish. Need a shoulder to lie (cry) on? Call Ashish. Need advice/life lesson/motivation/optimism? Call Ashish. Need to play futsal? Call Ashish. I can't think of things that do not relate to you. The warmness that you provide to your friends is what makes you so close despite physical distance. I know you will just remain the same wherever you go and this distance does not matter much. But why does it scare me now that you are flying to the US. Is it because I have my closest of friends swallowed by the US and I can't just feel the warmth whenever I need their shoulders to lie upon? The technology is no good. The technology is no God.

You are more of a guardian to me. A guardian who does not judge but accepts whatever flaws I have in me. And also makes me work in my flaws. You always had one true instance and were always bold in it. You did not succumb to peer pressure but you always stood against it. You were courageous to know the path that you wanted to travel and my god, how you were unshakable is beyond my imagination. One true friend. One true hero. One true inspiration to always look to. Aah! such pure soul. You will be sorely missed man. With Roshan gone (to Australia), the meeting without him are still tasteless and now you packing your bags make it hard to imagine the future days. 

Nonetheless, I hope we meet soon in the future. I hope you return to Nepal. I hope we gather like the good old days and ring our laughter so loud that it gives the meaning to our existence. All those (whole night) talks in your and my home will be missed. The questions we asked to ourselves about existence, aim, future, dreams and many more might run around the clouds whenever I look up at the darkest of nights and remember our friendship. I can't promise that you won't be missed when the clouds break and hit me as rainfall.

It has become a random letter and I should be stopping now as 15 years of friendship can never fit into a blogpost. My best wishes are with you Ashish. Conquer the west!

Love,

Bhaskar....