Saturday, August 22, 2015

My (re)take on Sameer and Nandini, the characters of Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam


Hum dil de chuke sanam. I must have watched this movie at least 2 dozen times. And I have always adored the ending. I always wanted Nandidi to end up with Vanraj as he went to great lengths to unite his wife to her lover. His love is pure, sacrificial and out of this world. The pain that Vanraj feels and what he chooses to do, for his wife selflessly, wrenches the heart of the viewers too. Maybe that is where Vanraj pulls the viewers to his side from Sameer. And this is why when I choose to watch the movie from certain point, I always skip the part where Nandini and Sameer fall in love and watch it from the part where Vanraj is introduced. Because the scene, story and character are well shaped into the theme of the movie by then. Movie gets intense and I am a big fan of intense stories with depth. If watching from the middle counts, I have already watched the movie at least 50 times. Thanks to Vanraj and his pure love.


But today, as I assess Sameer and Nandini, what wrong does Sameer do? Sameer; who loves Nandini whole-heartedly waits for her no matter what. When her father asks him to leave as his 'GuruDakshina', ne never complains. He respects her father throughout and leaves Nandini's home without creating a fuss. He continues to write for her even from Italy and always dreams of reuniting with her. Who wouldn't dream of their beloved and wouldn't want to get reunited? I certainly would. When you know 'she is the one', you will not think twice to do things for her. Sameer does the same thing. You cannot say his love is not worthy to be with Nandini, you just cannot say that. His love is pure, sweet and committed too. Committed because most of the long distance relationships fail and most prefer not to cling onto it. He hangs in there. He never stops dreaming of her and actually loves her like anything.

But why do we viewers forget about Sameer? Why does Vanraj steal the show? Is sacrifice greater than anything? Why do we rate our parent's love more? Most of us will answer 'because of the sacrifice or the selflessness'. Are we preoccupied with this 'sacrifice' thing or sacrifice just tops the lot? It's hard to tell but willingly/unwillignly, I think almost each of us support the verdict for Vanraj. Sameer does little wrong but what Vanraj does is beyond imagination and is right in every sense when it comes to her happiness. And perhaps this is why Nandini explains her decision (of choosing Vanraj) to Sameer by saying, 'pyar karna tumne mujhe sikhaya Sameer lekin pyar nibhana, maine Vanraj se sikha hai (You taught me to love, Sameer. But from Vanraj I learnt how it's done actually; to keep loving inspite of  all the difficulties and to love selflessly.)' Maybe this is why our eyes get less watery (with pain) when Nandini explains her decision to Sameer and more watery  (with joy) when Nandidni chooses to be with Vanraj at last.

But today, I feel for Sameer too. Most of us relate ourselves with the movie characters and laugh/cry with them. I always entered into Vanraj's character and embraced his feelings and pain as mine. But if I watch HDDCS again, I will enter inside Sameer's character too. I will cry with him when the rest of the viewers feel the utmost  pleasure with Vanraj at the end. That poor man deserves someone by his side. I will be his friend. For nothing can be sadder than what Sameer told to Nandini at the end, 'You married Vanraj means you will be his for seven lives. But  in the 8th life, you will be mine. Only mine. No Vanraj then.'


Leaving behind my favourite song from the movie:
Click here




Would you hug 'yourself'?

If you could hug yourself, 
would you do it? 
For the pain you feel within, 
is understood no better by others
than you. 
Have you ever cried tears of blood 
and felt that the heart is full of tears,
instead?
And you are still living, 
questioning yourself,'is this existence or survival'?
Whatever it is, you don't care. 
You see no difference. 
You don't actually see at all. 
You are blank. 
Everything is black. 
That black, which has every colour in it. 
Will you be able to find a rainbow in it?
Will you be able to find a 'lost you'?
Will you recognize your own avatar? 
Will you even try? 
When you find 'yourself', what will you do? 
Will you hug 'yourself'? 

Sunday, August 9, 2015

निस्पट्टता

२०६९-०३-०५
(मेरो डायरीबाट)

निस्पट्टता: मानिसहरु यो शब्दलाई कति नकारात्मक रुपमा लिन्छन् | आफुले भोगे पनि नभोगे पनि, यो शब्द उनीहरुको लागी भयानक छ | निस्पट्टता माने अन्धकार, जहाँ कुनै प्रकाश छैन | र भय त्यसै बखत उत्पन्न हुन्छ जब मानिस केहि देख्दैन | केहि कुरा देखे पछी मात्र ऊ ढुक्क हुन्छ नत्र विवेकसून्य भएर ऊ त्रसित हुने क्रम जारी रहन्छ | सधैं हिड्ने बाटो पनि अन्धकारमय हुँदा ढुक्क संग हिंड्न सकिंदैन | बिस्तारै बडो होसियार भइ कदम चाल्नु पर्ने हुन्छ | एक किसिमको त्रास मनमा रही रहन्छ | कतै ठेस लाग्ने पो हो कि?

तर मलाई निस्पट्टतासंग अगाध प्रेम छ | कतिपय कुराहरु म अँध्यारोमै पाउँछु | निस्पट्टतामा कता-कता म रम्दछु | भानिन्छ सबै रंगहरुको मिश्रण पछी नै कालो रंगको सृजना हुन्छ | त्यसैले होला म पनि अन्धकारमा थुप्रै कुराहरु डुबुल्की मार्दै गरेको पाउँछु | निस्पट्टताले मलाई आकर्षित गर्छ | टोलाएर जब म अन्धकारमा भावसून्य हुन्छु, तब मलाई अनन्त पुकार सुनाइदिन्छन् | आफ्नो अंगालोमा मलाई गुटुमुटु पार्न हरदम तयार यो अन्धकार, मलाई कत्ति पनि भयानक लाग्दैन |  थुनिएको, बन्धक बनाईएको मान्छेहरुलाई अन्धकार देखि घृणा हुन सक्ला | तर म त खुला पन्छी जस्तै हुँ | मलाई मन लागेको रोज्न अधिकार छ र निस्पट्टता रोज्न म कत्ति पनि हिचकिचाउदिन | कालो निशामामै ताराहरु मिलिक-मिलिक गर्छन्, चन्द्रमा स्वादसँग हाँस्छिन् | यदि अन्धकार भयानक हुने भए, यी ताराहरु अनि चन्द्रमा रमाउदै नाँच्ने अनि धपक्क बल्ने काम गर्थे होलान् र? अरुलाई अत्याश लाग्ने रजनी किन यिनीहरुलाई प्यारो छ? ती ताराहरु हेर्दा लाग्छ, मानौं कसैले गगनमा झिलिमिली गर्ने अन्नको बिस्कुन सुकाएको छ | ती ताराहरुलाई हेरी-रहंदा, एक प्रकारको शान्ति महसुस हुन्छ रातको निस्पट्टतामा |

डर हाम्रो मानिसकतामा गाढिएको छ | निस्पट्टता आफैंमा नकारात्मक होइन | यो त कसले कसरी परिभाषित गर्छ भन्ने मात्र न हो | निस्पट्टताको परिभाषा मेरो शब्दकोशमा बेग्लै छ | सायद म अपवाद परें कि?



Saturday, August 8, 2015

मनको डढेलो

आफु भित्रको ज्वाला
बन्द गर्ने कसरी? 
यो तडप्, यो जलन 
निको हुन्छ कसरी? 
आँसुले निभाऊँ भन्दा, 
झन्-झन् पोल्छ बेस्सरी
लागेको डढेलो यो मनमा, 
अब निभ्छ कसो गरि? 


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