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My (re)take on Sameer and Nandini, the characters of Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

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Hum dil de chuke sanam. I must have watched this movie at least 2 dozen times. And I have always adored the ending. I always wanted Nandidi to end up with Vanraj as he went to great lengths to unite his wife to her lover. His love is pure, sacrificial and out of this world. The pain that Vanraj feels and what he chooses to do, for his wife selflessly, wrenches the heart of the viewers too. Maybe that is where Vanraj pulls the viewers to his side from Sameer. And this is why when I choose to watch the movie from certain point, I always skip the part where Nandini and Sameer fall in love and watch it from the part where Vanraj is introduced. Because the scene, story and character are well shaped into the theme of the movie by then. Movie gets intense and I am a big fan of intense stories with depth. If watching from the middle counts, I have already watched the movie at least 50 times. Thanks to Vanraj and his pure love.


But today, as I assess Sameer and Nandini, what wrong does Sameer…

Would you hug 'yourself'?

If you could hug yourself, 
would you do it? 
For the pain you feel within, 
is understood no better by others
than you. 
Have you ever cried tears of blood 
and felt that the heart is full of tears,
instead?
And you are still living, 
questioning yourself,'is this existence or survival'?
Whatever it is, you don't care. 
You see no difference. 
You don't actually see at all. 
You are blank. 
Everything is black. 
That black, which has every colour in it. 
Will you be able to find a rainbow in it?
Will you be able to find a 'lost you'?
Will you recognize your own avatar? 
Will you even try? 
When you find 'yourself', what will you do? 
Will you hug 'yourself'?

निस्पट्टता

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२०६९-०३-०५
(मेरो डायरीबाट)

निस्पट्टता: मानिसहरु यो शब्दलाई कति नकारात्मक रुपमा लिन्छन् | आफुले भोगे पनि नभोगे पनि, यो शब्द उनीहरुको लागी भयानक छ | निस्पट्टता माने अन्धकार, जहाँ कुनै प्रकाश छैन | र भय त्यसै बखत उत्पन्न हुन्छ जब मानिस केहि देख्दैन | केहि कुरा देखे पछी मात्र ऊ ढुक्क हुन्छ नत्र विवेकसून्य भएर ऊ त्रसित हुने क्रम जारी रहन्छ | सधैं हिड्ने बाटो पनि अन्धकारमय हुँदा ढुक्क संग हिंड्न सकिंदैन | बिस्तारै बडो होसियार भइ कदम चाल्नु पर्ने हुन्छ | एक किसिमको त्रास मनमा रही रहन्छ | कतै ठेस लाग्ने पो हो कि?

तर मलाई निस्पट्टतासंग अगाध प्रेम छ | कतिपय कुराहरु म अँध्यारोमै पाउँछु | निस्पट्टतामा कता-कता म रम्दछु | भानिन्छ सबै रंगहरुको मिश्रण पछी नै कालो रंगको सृजना हुन्छ | त्यसैले होला म पनि अन्धकारमा थुप्रै कुराहरु डुबुल्की मार्दै गरेको पाउँछु | निस्पट्टताले मलाई आकर्षित गर्छ | टोलाएर जब म अन्धकारमा भावसून्य हुन्छु, तब मलाई अनन्त पुकार सुनाइदिन्छन् | आफ्नो अंगालोमा मलाई गुटुमुटु पार्न हरदम तयार यो अन्धकार, मलाई कत्ति पनि भयानक लाग्दैन |  थुनिएको, बन्धक बनाईएको मान्छेहरुलाई अन्धकार देखि घृ…

मनको डढेलो

आफु भित्रको ज्वाला
बन्द गर्ने कसरी?  यो तडप्, यो जलन  निको हुन्छ कसरी?  आँसुले निभाऊँ भन्दा,  झन्-झन् पोल्छ बेस्सरी लागेको डढेलो यो मनमा,  अब निभ्छ कसो गरि?